Reporting In: When Writing Doesn't Pay the Rent
Flannery O’Connor once said something to the effect that she was guided by her muse to write, and her muse could find her at her desk, every day between 9 and 12. She also said the only award she really appreciated was the kind that could be cashed at her bank. If Flannery didn’t say something to this effect, some other renown writer did. If this is so, let me know who, but what I remember is what informs me, even if I remember it wrong.
I know that a schedule with writing honors the act of writing and provides me with the framework to actually get something said. No schedule…then each act of writing requires some more amount of energy than it would if I just said, “9:00. Write.” There are all kinds of questions I can ask: Am I hungry? Should I take a walk first? Who lives in this messy a house? I wonder if my sister is at home? Do I actually have something to say? Is writing just a silly hobby? Who would want to hear what I have to say? DO I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY?
Feel a nap coming on?
If you have a job, and you wake each morning asking yourself if you should really go to work today, honey, you’re sunk. You hate your job, you hate your life, you are not sure about yourself, and even your dog is suspect. In order for a job to be tolerable, you have to make a commitment to it.
So, you make a commitment to writing, but it comes without a check at the end of the pay period. You can’t cash that commitment at an American bank? What happens next? What happens to me is that an emergency comes up, or I haven’t made an equal commitment to washing the clothes, and I run out of undies, or the kids are coming home, or a friend has a project that needs help. I’ll write when…when what? No time to write, just for today, or for a week. Months later, ‘urgent’ circumstances are still making inroads on what was supposed to be my writing time.
Here’s the rub. No rent money. No legitimacy. No continuity.
I’ve wanted to ‘be’ a writer since I was 8. I’m not sure why. I loved books, and maybe I thought writing would be a way of living with books, rather than going out into the world and doing other things like my parents did. Writing didn’t seem to have any connection with having anything to say, since I didn’t feel like I really knew anything. Still, the desire to write has simmered through my years like a low-grade fever.
The present simple tense of ‘to be’ is am. I want ‘to be’ a writer? That’s something in the future, and a heck of a lot of ‘need-to nows’ stand in the way of its arrival. I am a writer means also I am writing. Now. Here at 9:00 today.
Today marks one week of my 250 word commitment, though I’ve actually written more than that each day this week. Two weeks seems to be my wall. On the 15th day, Circumstances Arise. I am really curious how other writers, my friends and guild members, write. How do you do it? Are you scheduled? Do you get paid for writing? What's working or not working for you? Let me know.
I know that a schedule with writing honors the act of writing and provides me with the framework to actually get something said. No schedule…then each act of writing requires some more amount of energy than it would if I just said, “9:00. Write.” There are all kinds of questions I can ask: Am I hungry? Should I take a walk first? Who lives in this messy a house? I wonder if my sister is at home? Do I actually have something to say? Is writing just a silly hobby? Who would want to hear what I have to say? DO I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY?
Feel a nap coming on?
If you have a job, and you wake each morning asking yourself if you should really go to work today, honey, you’re sunk. You hate your job, you hate your life, you are not sure about yourself, and even your dog is suspect. In order for a job to be tolerable, you have to make a commitment to it.
So, you make a commitment to writing, but it comes without a check at the end of the pay period. You can’t cash that commitment at an American bank? What happens next? What happens to me is that an emergency comes up, or I haven’t made an equal commitment to washing the clothes, and I run out of undies, or the kids are coming home, or a friend has a project that needs help. I’ll write when…when what? No time to write, just for today, or for a week. Months later, ‘urgent’ circumstances are still making inroads on what was supposed to be my writing time.
Here’s the rub. No rent money. No legitimacy. No continuity.
I’ve wanted to ‘be’ a writer since I was 8. I’m not sure why. I loved books, and maybe I thought writing would be a way of living with books, rather than going out into the world and doing other things like my parents did. Writing didn’t seem to have any connection with having anything to say, since I didn’t feel like I really knew anything. Still, the desire to write has simmered through my years like a low-grade fever.
The present simple tense of ‘to be’ is am. I want ‘to be’ a writer? That’s something in the future, and a heck of a lot of ‘need-to nows’ stand in the way of its arrival. I am a writer means also I am writing. Now. Here at 9:00 today.
Today marks one week of my 250 word commitment, though I’ve actually written more than that each day this week. Two weeks seems to be my wall. On the 15th day, Circumstances Arise. I am really curious how other writers, my friends and guild members, write. How do you do it? Are you scheduled? Do you get paid for writing? What's working or not working for you? Let me know.
posted by Camellia at 8:20 AM
2 Comments:
I always want to write something insightful and succint as my comment. Failing that, I can tell you for sure that you are a writer, and a skillful one. There's not "wanting to be" about it.
So what if you let go of the idea that Circumstances Arise after 15 days and visualize yourself writing on day 32, 169, 7081? From everything that we've read, Miss Camellia, YOU are making those Circumstances Arise and foiling yourself with the "whole lot of nothing" I wrote about in my blog today! And yes, it is MUCH easier to look at your life than at mine! :) Love love and more love to you Queen Donna, my heroine of the ability to write compellingly whenever you so choose!!!!
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